Saturday, July 4, 2009

Madoff: I don't want just any prison

Headline from the Times of London: Bernard Madoff hires help to survive hard time.

Are we supposed to feel sorry for this guy because the adjustment to prison is going to a real struggle for him? Because it's going to be somewhat stressful to go from imported Blue Hawaiian in heirloom china to generic coffee in a styrofoam cup? Because he lived in a penthouse with chauffeurs while robbing hundreds of their hard-earned life savings? The Bible says "Thou shalt not steal," not "Thou shalt not steal, unless you do it in a $5000 suit from some really swanky digs."

I'm guessing that if you were convicted of a crime and sentenced to twice the average lifespan of your species (75 times in Madoff's case, as the lifespan of a cockroach is about two years, providing it stays out of my basement), the corrections system would slap some cuffs on you and haul you off to whatever scumbag-holding facility they wished.

But not Madoff! After being sentenced to 150 years in federal prison, he hires a consultant to help him find the "best possible jail."

Are the rich different from the rest of us? Maybe. The rich and soulless, definitely.

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